Callie's Corner

In just 9 days I will be sitting in an endocrinologist's office, discussing hormones and transitioning.  I'm more than excited, but luckily this is a very hectic, busy time and thus I'm saved from going stir crazy in anticipation.

I am planning to update this blog more now that my transitioning will have finally began.

2015 will be the year of transformation, self-exploration and realization, and of puberty done properly.  There is still so much up in the air in terms of how well my body will take to the hormones.  It will take a lot of hard work on my part as well.  2015 will be crazy, and wild but is bound to be the most memorable and fulfilling year of my life.

I came out to everyone but work and work related people on November 9th via Facebook.  November was transgender awareness month, so I figured I'd make everyone aware.  I had spent all year working to get myself to a place to handle the reactions I expected to face, and thus making the post wasn't as terrifying as would be expected. 

Coming out, especially as transgender, shows you exactly the type of people your friends and family really are.  What it showed me is how blessed I really am.  It showed me not only are my friends and family the remarkable people I thought they were, but that they are even more amazing than I had realized.  Pretty much everyone who comes out as transgender loses people in their life.  If they are lucky, it'll only be a few, and the most important people will still be there for them.  I never really expected to be the exception to that.  I don't feel like I've lost anyone.

In fact, I feel closer to my friends and family.  There's the fact that I now see just how truly wonderful my friends and family are, and they truly have my utmost trust now.  But it also feels like my friends are responding easier and better to me, as if they sensed I was hiding something, and now that the secret is out, they are connecting to me better.  I'm not sure if that is happening, if there was the sense of me hiding something, that kept them guarded a bit, or if it is all 100% on me.  That it's me who no longer has the secret keeping me guarded, and now it's me that's connecting with everyone easier and better, and they are responding to that.  Or maybe both.  Either way, I'm thankful for it.

I also came out to my online Human Sexuality class at the end of October.  We had a discussion response with one of the topics being on gender, so I thought it was good opportunity to explain what it is like to be trans and answer questions.  I got a handful of positive comments, and some questions, but not a lot.  Which was how I expected it to go.  The rest of the class either didn't read or bit their tongues.  Your guess is as good as mine.  I talked to my professor beforehand, and she was greatly supportive, immediately asking which pronouns I prefer and if I had a preferred name.  She's been calling me Colleen since.  She's also invited me to guest speak to her face to face class next semester and I have agreed to do so.

This year has ended on a large positive note, which promises to make 2015 an amazing year.